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This is one of the contributions to:DIABETES ESSAY AND POEM COMPETITION 2009
I’m Charlotte, I’m 15 years old and I like shopping, socialising and of course boys! My weekends usually consist of sleepovers, parties, and shopping (and homework): really I’m like any other girl of my age, except I have type 1 diabetes...
I was really naive of what diabetes was until August 2007. During the summer holidays of 2007, my life changed. While my family and myself were busy packing for our once in a lifetime trip to California unbeknown to us was the fact that I had diabetes.
For weeks I had been getting up at least 3 times a night, at ridiculous hours in the morning, to go to the toilet. I was drinking gallons of water a day. I had lost loads of weight and was consequently severely underweight. I had headaches. I would easily lose my breath. But I really wasn’t aware of my symptoms and continued life as normal.
It wasn’t until 3 days before we were meant to leave for California that I knew something was wrong. I had been sleeping for hours during the day; however this Sunday I got up to have a drink at around lunchtime. After going downstairs and grabbing myself a drink, I ran upstairs to be confronted by my younger sister who accused me of something. I screamed back at her and found myself gasping for air. Looking back I reacted totally out of character too. My dad knew something was wrong and so took me to our local health centre. After explaining my symptoms to the nurse, she brought put what looked to me like a massive needle waiting to ferociously stab me! Little did I know then that I would later own a very similar piece of equipment! After the test, she explained that I had an exceptionally high blood sugar and most probably had diabetes and needed to go to the hospital immediately.
After grabbing my mum from work, one of my younger sisters, my mum and I headed for the hospital (my dad had to return home to watch my other sisters). The rest, I have to admit is a real haze to me. However I do clearly remember screaming and feeling like I was not going to see another day. When I was at the hospital, I was asked loads of questions and had loads of tests. It wasn’t until I was on the children’s ward with needles stuck everywhere in me, that it really began to sink in that I had diabetes. A doctor came and told me that if I hadn’t have come into hospital when I had then I would probably be in a coma and, well, really I don’t want to think about the rest.
The next three days to me were like hell. I had diabetes; a condition never to leave me. Although I had no idea really what diabetes was; I didn’t want to know. Every hour of every the three days I was in hospital, another face would appear and try to explain to me what diabetes was. Although I respected them and listened: I really didn’t want to hear it. To find out that had a lifelong condition was too much for me to handle. I just kept thinking to myself “why me? There are murderers and nasty people out there, why haven’t they been given diabetes?”
My feelings towards my diabetes changed when I watched a programme on TV with this little girl who had another really bad condition. She was waiting for a transplant and everyday she was getting weaker. Seeing her there all helpless and innocent made me realise that I am in a more fortunate position than many people in the world. For me to continue moping about and dragging my feet around, I think would be really selfish and immature.
My mum stayed by my side every single minute of those 3 days in hospital. Without her I don’t know what I would have done. I think to start with she blamed herself for my diabetes but then one day we were having this talk and I told her it wasn’t her fault, it was nobody’s. Then I think she understood. I will never be able to repay my mum for staying with me. I think in a way it was probably harder for her seeing her daughter being prodded and allsorts. I remember the pain in her eyes when I was lying on the bed and her leaning over me, her face was literally as white as snow.
When explaining to people what diabetes is, they automatically assume that you have got it because you have a diet filled with sugar and fat. And this is not the truth for type 1. I believe that this is wrong to assume things; however, I don’t get annoyed because I like the fact that I am teaching them something new and widening their knowledge on diabetes. Most people also assume that having diabetes means you can’t eat anything high in fat or sugar. I for one enjoy my Friday night mars bar and my occasional fish and chips and will continue to enjoy it!!
I remember the first Christmas after being diagnosed, we were around my auntie and uncle’s house on Christmas day, and were opening our presents. My grandma gave my sisters and myself a little present. My sisters began opening it excitedly and I looked over to see them waving around a £20.00 note and a bag of chocolate. Anouska had minstrels, Phoebe had maltesters and Francesca had my favourite: Giant Chocolate Buttons. I obviously couldn’t wait to open mine and get the chocolate! I tore open the wrapping paper as fast as possible and found £20.00 and, wait for it...a bag of monkey nuts. Yes monkey nuts. Not chocolate, but monkey nuts. My heart sank. I know it sounds stupid because it was only chocolate but it was more the fact that I felt I had been singled out and treated different from everyone else. It took me a while before I thought about it and realised that she was thinking of me. I suppose she wasn’t to know. But at the time it did upset me.
My friends have been absolutely amazing throughout everything. When I was in hospital, everyone kept asking me if I was going to phone my friends and explain. But I didn’t want to. I didn’t want them to see me in hospital. And I am glad I didn’t. But as soon as I got home I phoned my closest friends up. Most of the reactions I received were “oh my god, are you alright?” Several cried, while others were left speechless. A week after, my friends came round and we had a “learn about diabetes” (sarcastic tone needed!) lesson. It was really good and they learned everything they needed to know and even got a free leaflet...how exciting!!! Actually, on a more serious note, they did read the leaflets, which really touched me, and they do know what to do if anything happens. They often ask me how everything is going and I even do my blood sugars and injections around them and, I have to say, I feel comfortable when I'm doing them.
Having diabetes has changed my outlook on life. I see everything more positively and I don’t judge people anymore. Being diagnosed wasn’t a negative thing for me, neither was it a positive thing, but I think it has made me a better person and made me respect people for who they are. I understand that having the condition is serious and how it really needs to be looked after, but I try to remeber the positives as well, such as meeting so many incredible people, who are truly inspirational and who help so many people to live life normally with diabetes.
To me having diabetes is not a real problem if you keep it under control. My Hb1c’s have been 7.4, which are apparently really good, so I am happy...and so are my diabetic team! It only takes a couple of seconds to inject and a minute maximum to do a blood glucose check, so really it isn’t too much to ask! The way I look at it is: you inject and respect the diabetes, or end up with serious complications that will take much longer to care for and control. There are people in the world with a condition that requires a lot more time for it to be controlled than diabetes therefore I believe it is really stupid and immature not to respect diabetes for what it is...you could be in a much worse position.
I don’t believe that diabetes should stop anyone from pursuing their dreams. Trust me, I have loads and plan to fulfil all of them! My parents say I am in my own little “Charlotte Bubble”! At the moment, I am in my first year of GCSE’S. It is difficult, but I am putting in all my effort and so hopefully it will pay off! I have also just completed the ‘race for life', in a time that beat my expected goal, and I recently climbed Snowdon and rowed 8 miles for charity.
So, to anyone out there with diabetes, if you want something, go out there and grab it with both hands. Yes, okay, with diabetes you do have to plan a bit more carefully, but don’t let it stop you.
I say that the sky’s the limit!