back to the list of essays and poems BACK
print the text of this poem/essayThis is one of the contributions to:

DIABETES ESSAY AND POEM COMPETITION 2009

Taylor 22/05 17 I am not a disease

As I lay in the hospital bed examining my bruised, tender fingertips, I knew it was the beginning of my new life. It was at that moment that I decided I had to accept my condition and take care of my body to live a long, normal life. Of course my life would revolve around my illness and I would have to follow a strict routine, so it would not exactly be normal, but to me it means going on with life while hiding this condition so no one notices it. In the fall of my junior year I was diagnosed with Type One Diabetes, which altered almost everything. It was a shock to both me and my family, since I always exercised and ate healthy. None of this mattered though, for it is an inevitable autoimmune disease.

Before I got diabetes, I was trying to do everything at once with only so much time. In order to balance school, work, soccer, and dance, I sacrificed sleep and skipped some meals for lack of time. When prioritizing, I put my body behind school, since junior year is said to be the most important and hardest year of high school. For me, it was the hardest year of my life. I went through my day taking advantage of the fact that my body regulated its blood sugar naturally, that I could choose what I wanted to eat, and that I did not have to worry about going into insulin shock and dying.

Once I had diabetes, I needed to follow a strict schedule which completely changed how I managed my life. I was required to give myself three insulin injections a day, eat the same amount of carbohydrates at the same time every day, and prick my fingers eight to ten times a day. It is a continuous battle for survival, which I learned how to control, and it is the biggest struggle I have ever had to endure. It was very frustrating to watch other teenagers go carefree through their youth with no one to tell them what to eat, when to eat, how much to eat, to prick their finger, stab themselves with syringes, and always make sure sugar is available to raise blood sugar. I envied the teens around me who did not have a disease to worry about. There I was, a sixteen-year old girl, regulating my body manually because I was scared to death of losing my toes which are so precious to me as a dancer. It seemed so unfair that all everyone else had to worry about was their grade in chemistry, while I was worrying about my toes. My little toes, which I greatly took advantage of before, are now one of the important aspects of my life.

Though after a few months, when I stopped thinking about having diabetes so much and this disease became second nature, I developed a new awareness of the teens around me. They do not value the little aspects of life, and they do not know what important means. Those immature teens are too busy complaining about everything to see how fortunate they are to be young and not have to worry about their toes or dying yet. Even though I have diabetes and had to grow up quickly to cope with it, I am thankful I have it because the appreciation for life I have makes me so much happier than those teens. Through the drops of blood and tears, sore fingertips, painful injections, and only being allowed to eat a certain amount at a certain time, I discovered how to adapt to a new life as a mature teenager.

As I look back on my life before diabetes, I feel like a completely different person, and I am glad for who I have become as a result of this lifelong disease. As a teenager, many responsibilities are brought into our lives which can be very challenging to handle, but having a serious disease on top of those struggles makes life very hard. Though it took much energy and time, it motivated me to be more grateful for the smaller things and be more mature. Now that I have a manageable lifestyle, it is my priority to continue to be strong and healthy. With this experience, I have a great desire to help others who struggle with illnesses and assist them in staying in good health. I was given this obstacle at the most difficult time of my life to learn how to adapt to change and reevaluate my priorities. Having diabetes has helped me learn how to manage my life and mature into an adult so I can help others who struggle with their health.

© This publication is protected by copyright. All rights reserved.