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This is one of the contributions to:DIABETES ESSAY AND POEM COMPETITION 2009
Louise:
Blood. Crap. Should have paid attention. I picked up the fallen pen, needle bent and all. Now the next time I ate, I would have to change the needle. Ugh, diabetes is the most annoying thing I have ever come across. I mean, all these strangers who say they’re ‘looking out for you’ scream down your ear with the same stupid things. Can’t eat this, can’t eat that. Must do this, must do everything I say or you won’t be healthy. Pfft. Yeah, okay, if you say so. You know I’m not gonna listen so why bother?
My name’s Louise. Im fifteen years old, live in England. Yay. Well I’m guessing you know by now, but I’m gonna tell you anyway. I’m diabetic. I have to eat right, exercise properly, and just be healthy. But I’m a freaking teenage girl, living amongst many who could only be described as pigs. With all their McDonalds and what not. I mean come on? What do you expect? To ignore it and move on? Yeah, okay it’s all fine and dandy to say that. But you try living like I do. You try turning down that gorgeous, mouth watering chocolate cake, when your mates are already gorging it down. And to make it worse try sitting right next to them while they eat it and constantly offer you a slice. I’m not a saint, I’m not going to resist just because of my sugars.
It doesn’t even stop there. I have to take injections, four times daily. And on top of that I have to literally make myself bleed, so I know what my sugar level is. I’m not a model diabetic. A model diabetic wouldn’t take that cake and then take 2 extra units of insulin, ending up hypo and scoffing down a crunchie at 2am. A model diabetic would always test their sugar when needed… I never do that. As I said, I’m no model diabetic.
Living with diabetes is like living with a constant poke in your back, it won’t go away and it’s just there. I dream of getting a pump. No more having to go out of my way to take insulin, no more not being able to eat what I want. But everyone says you can’t get it unless you show you can control it. I don’t understand how I’m supposed to do that. Me? How do you control something so much already out of control?
School never changes. Same old catty girls and annoying boys. I get a lot of the same old comments ‘why are you diabetic? It’s ‘cos you ate loads of sugar init’ whispers behind my back are more like ‘that’s that girl who was always bare chopping on chocolate, that’s why she’s diabetic but she won’t stop eating. I never see her without a Galaxy’
At least I have my friends, they never change either, even when I came back diabetic, they look after me. There’s four of us and we get along great, they always come with me to take my insulin and remind me to check my sugar. I never listen to them when they say that. But at least I know they care.
So that’s basically me. And uh yeah, I’m gonna go and check my sugar (for once) I think I’m hypo. Why don’t you keep my friend Katie company?
Katie:
Um hi… I’m Katie, and Louise has just kinda told you the lot. Nice to know that she know’s we care. But to be honest, I’m actually kind of worried… one of these days she’s going to end up killing herself or something. I know it’s not exactly fun living with diabetes, my brother has it and I have to keep an eye on him as well, he’s only seven.
And I think you need to know something about Louise, something only herself, her mum and I know about – not including doctors – she’ll be mad at me, but if I tell you, then maybe you can help her?
It must have been a Friday night, I was at Louise’s house, we had a big dance project the next day, and we had to practice a lot. At lunchtime earlier that day, Louise didn’t check her sugar before she ate (typically) she’d had a bag of crisps at break time, and now for dessert she had chocolate cake. Knowing she was probably high, and as she was having the cake, she took an extra 2 units of insulin. I told her not to, as her meal didn’t have very many carbs in it, she’d ‘drop like a stone’ as my mum would say. We decided to walk home that evening, forgetting about her sugars and we got home and got straight to work… we were dancing for hours, with only diet coke to keep us going. We were so involved in the dancing that Louise didn’t feel a hypo. We then sat down and Louise told me she felt really sick and horrible, my first instinct was over working, but then I remembered back to lunchtime and then to the walk and then to the now 3 and a half hours worth of dancing, so I told her to check her sugar and she refused. I then realised she was a lot more stubborn than usual, so I ran to find her testing kit and returned to find her dancing again. I forced her to sit down and checked her sugar for her. It was LO. So I said to her, ‘stay right here’ she of course was hypo and being extremely stubborn came with me, we headed down the stairs, her first so I could keep an eye on her. And then she felt extremely faint and her knees buckles. She was halfway down the stairs and she fell to the bottom. I was frozen for a second before running to her. She wouldn’t wake up, I then found the nearest phone and rang for an ambulance. I’m surprised that I was able to tell them what happened, but I did. They came within the next ten minutes. By that time, I had her hypo kit out. Although I didn’t use it as I was unsure. I had opened the door and when I heard the ambulance I ran outside so they wouldn’t have to look for the house. They bolted inside, grabbing her up into a tight grip and then got her into the ambulance. I went with her and explained the whole story, they used the hypo kit and then gave her the lucozade, that they told me to get, and she was feeling slightly better.
In the hospital they checked her over for injuries, she had a sprained ankle and a few bruises but other than that she was miraculously fine. The hospital rang her mum and dad, we didn’t do the dance project but as long as she was okay, that’s all that mattered. I kinda hoped the fall would knock some sense into her but it hasn’t. Maybe she needs to see the result of her actions for herself, I don’t know. But ever since that incident I’m worried about her more than ever.
Okay she’s coming back… remember I didn’t tell you anything.
Louise:
So did you two get up to anything? No? ‘Kay. Yeah I was hypo, just had some toast. I actually had the multi-seeded one that the dietician recommended and I am NOT having it again.