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This is one of the contributions to:DIABETES ESSAY AND POEM COMPETITION 2009
My Diabetes is a killer. Everyone who has been diagnosed with diabetes will some point in their life relise that it is not a slack out of things, or an excuse to eat when eveyone isnt allowed, or to get out of things you dont like. Diabetes is not something we can ignore, for me it is the most difficult thing in my life. Always having to chek my blood, or watch what im eating and drinking, slowing down when my blood is high always wanting to go to the tolilet. When im out with my friends and my blood sugar is high i cant controll it without my insulin, its a strugle to look at things, its like everyone is watching whilst i try to gasp for a brake, to sit down and drink, to me it feels like i am taking all the water supply of the country, drinking leters upon leters, its embarising to see all my friends drinking ordenery juice and to see me sitting beside them but as if im not part of them. My Diabetes is a constint battle, mental and physical, my parents care deeply for me ! but they get on my back for the better, i just dont see it. When your blood sugar is high you feel like you have no water in you, your anger gets out of controll and your legs and eyes begine to weeken.
My blood sugar rarley is below 10, but when it is and i take a Hypo ( blood goes low ), i have no life in me, i cant think straight and shake constinly, just wanting to take all that bottle of lucazade even thow im only allowed a sip. To me it feels as thow it is taking me over, trying to controll something that can not be controlled. Even thow it can and most people do get on with it, it isnt something i enjoy. I have to think about things constantly,
" should i eat that "
" it wont do my any harm to have it "
" just take it and ignore how i feel "
but i cant. I cant physicly say that when i do take something im not supposed to i can just ignore it, i have to take littrly hunderds of water just to feel better and even at that i still dont feel good. My Friends dont understand, because they dont have it they feel nothing towards it, even thow they care very much for me. Its like a drug, you try it and you try it again but you cant get rid of the addiction unless you get help, to me help is always their but i cant see it and some children and teenagers dont see it to, they get into bad situations and become very ill.
Diabetes is something you have to controll, or else it will take you over and controll you. I hate it but to condridict myself i like it in some ways, it helps balance my meals and it learns me how to count out my chybohardates, and sugers. It helps me to stop and think should i be doing this or should i just ignore it. It Kills me and most probebly other people with diabetes to, to go out somwhere or go on holiday and have to suffer your blood going up and down like a yoyo, to watch children your age and mine eat things that look soo good but are realy soo bad.
Every Birthday i have since i was six, every candle i have blowen out on my cake i have always wished away my diabetes, but i know myself it will never go away untill the day i die. So i put my head up high and say i am strong and under controll of it, when sometimes im not. For people with Diabetes it is very hard and upsetting but the more you dawn on it the more it gets hard, all we realy have to do is take more care of ourselfs, they way god intended it to be for us.
I always think that sometimes we are more specil to have this, to watch what eat and to be in controll of something where as other illnesses you cant be. I just wish sometimes it would go away.
Thank you for reading this .