Hi, I'm 14 years old. I've had diabetes for 13 years; I was diagnosed shortly after my first birthday. I want to tell you how it feels to live with this condition and hopefully help you, to help future generations who may suffer from it as well!

One of the first memories I have of being diabetic is going to parties and saying "I can't have sweets now but I can have them later, so can I take some home in a bag and have them after my tea." People would feel sorry for me so instead of the three or so sweets everyone else at the party would get, I'd go home with an entire bag full! At the time I was as happy as anything to get so many. My parents always said I could eat anything I wanted- it just had to be at the right time, which really helped me and my outlook when I was still very young. I was on two injections a day which meant I had a snack between meals and very limited flexibility with what I ate; I inevitably, got really sick of having a doggie bag come home with me every time I went somewhere and a snack between each meal. I wanted to be more like my friends, so I asked to be put on to more injections. Unfortunately my diabetes team were less than supportive and decided, (without actually asking the school I was at and despite the reassurances of my parents), that primary schools don't want a student to do injections at school. I felt that I wasn't being listened to, although I was only 9 I was happy and even wanted to be moved on to 4 injections, because in my eyes it was the only way to get any of the freedom my friends had. They put me on to 3 injections but I wasn't happy, I still didn't have what I wanted.

After about a year on the 3 injections, I finally got my wish and was moved on to 4. Yes, I was doing an injection at school and no, my school didn't mind in the slightest, they were really supportive which helped a lot and gave me the confidence to be independent when it came to injections. I was being listened to. Even though I have been diabetic for so long it still hits me sometimes I'm never going to be free of it, I'm always going to have this monster breathing down my neck. I wonder if maybe I was lucky not to be able to compare it to a time when I was free, or, if by not having that part of my life I really missed out! People assume that because I routinely do at least 4 finger pricks and injections a day, that it doesn't bother me. Well sometimes it does, it feels like my life revolves around my diabetes and coping with it. It's such a drag sometimes I just wish I could be 'normal'. There have been times when I'm out with my friends or at parties and I just want to eat like other people and not have to bother blood testing and injecting, so I haven't.

My parents' assurances that I could eat whatever I liked- it was just a matter of when, eventually wasn't enough. Around the age of 9 I discovered the art of sneaking food, nothing major just the odd snack bar or packet of crisps. It was wonderful, no one breathing down my neck telling me to do an injection. It was such freedom and somehow I felt I deserved it. The only problem was that it became a bit of a habit so even when I moved onto 4 injections a day and had a lot more flexibility, I continued to sneak stuff. Sometimes it felt as if I'd got away with it. My blood sugar would be a bit up but not really high so as to arouse suspicion. Moving onto secondary school I found even more opportunity to eat what I wanted. Gradually though I started to put on weight. I hadn't got away with it completely.

Last time I went to clinic I had lost a few pounds (intentionally) but the diabetic team seemed really worried it's not like I'm under weight or had lost a huge amount, but it was like losing weight, being a teenage girl and diabetic means that I've got an eating disorder. It makes me feel that I can't be honest with my doctor and nurse. I would like to tell them how much I like my food, and that I'm trying to do it by cutting out the extras and doing loads of exercise. However, I don't feel like I'm treated as an individual. They have already decided what is right or wrong, good or bad for me. I want them to talk to me as 'me' not just any old diabetic. If no one is listening, what's the point of talking?

My mum and dad have always encouraged me to be independent and to take control of my own care more and more as I get older. They have never pushed me to do more than I was ready for. However, there was a diabetic nurse who visited us when I was younger who never seemed satisfied with what I was doing. Although I was rotating my injection sites I didn't want to do it in my stomach. I used to hate the nurse coming because she always made me feel bad that I wasn't doing what she wanted. I wasn't praised for what I was doing .Looking back I think she was really rubbish. I was only 5.

In the 3 areas we have lived since I have been diabetic my parents have helped to set up support groups so that I could meet other diabetic kids. I wanted to know that I wasn't the only one. It good to know that other people had the same life that I did but it would have been nice if it hadn't been up to us to organise them. I have met lots of lovely people through support groups and some from BDA holidays. I think that these holidays should be more widely publicised and made more available to young people as they were some of the few times when I felt the same as everyone else. Now I don't feel that I need that contact so much. I'm not necessarily going to get on with someone just because they're diabetic.

I have been on lots of BDA holidays ranging from 2 to 7 nights and really enjoyed all the fun activities. It was a shame that on almost all of them I had the worst blood sugars. I remember one particular holiday the doctor insisted on dropping my insulin so much that I had many 28 and 30 blood tests. I was about 10 then but can remember feeling really frustrated that I kept saying I knew the reduction was too much, but no one took any notice of me. After all what could I possibly know?

A diabetic life does involve more planning and sometimes less spontaneity. Sometimes I feel ok about that and sometimes I feel hacked off. Diabetes doesn't stop me from doing things; it just means being a bit more organised. I have a part time job; I go on all sorts of residential trips with school including an exchange trip to Germany and I'm currently doing my bronze Duke of Edinburgh Award. My schools have always been brilliant in supporting me in whatever I'm doing. They have all gone out of their way to make sure I am included.

In general being diabetic is fine, sometimes I don't think about it too much. I just get on with it. Then there times when I am ill or I've had a severe hypo, diabetes feels like an onerous part of life. I just want to be free of it and be like everyone else. I am aware of complications but I try not to think about them much. It hits me sometimes when I hear about someone who has had diabetes for 20 or 30 years and is about 50 ill only have to be 30 to have that.

I know diabetes can be a hindrance sometimes but I can deal with it and I will carry on dealing with it. My life is mine and it won't revolve around diabetes! I and anyone else with diabetes can do anything if we put our minds to it; we just need to be reminded of that from time to time!