When my mum approached with this competition I didn't really know how to respond. An essay about diabetes. Where to start. I could copy and paste a detailed medical explanation from wikipedia, that would make me sound very intelligent, but my internet is broken and I'm sure if you're reading this you know all about diabetes. I suppose I should start with the basics. Hello. My name is Elinor and I have had diabetes for 7 years, but just like any other 16 year old girl I love makeup, shopping, lie-ins and my room is an absolute tip! I think that is the first time I've ever introduced myself then said "And I've had diabetes for 7 years" immediately after. I've never had to before. Don't get me wrong I've never kept it a secret; however I have never considered it a hugely important fact about me. And it's not. I guess I'm quite down to earth in that sense. I have diabetes and asking me how I feel about that won't make any difference. Although I don't like it all the time, I don't hate it either. I've managed with it just fine over the years. Sometimes I even forget I have it. Even now it feels as though I'm writing a script and I have to keep reminding myself it's me I'm talking about. It says in the Balance magazine this is to help doctors to understand their patients. And I believe this competition is a perfect idea.

It seems weird but when I was younger I quite enjoyed going to clinic. There were toys and colouring to do and I found the nurses really friendly. Now I'm older I don't enjoy it so much. Now it's like judgement day. Sometimes I think we are all like little fish in a tank and every so often the doctors come to review us and make sure we are swimming enough and not eating too many fish flakes. But what they don't understand (leaving the fish metaphor now) is that it's not all about readings and insulin dose but quality of life also.

I was lucky enough to be put onto an insulin pump when I was 11 and this, I find, is absolutely fantastic. My Mum and I say it's cheating really. I haven't really had 'the full diabetic experience' because using the pump is so easy. I can't eat what I want, do what I want and I never have to worry about meal times or extra snacks. I'm not saying my results are perfect or that the pump is for everyone but it's definitely helped with my quality of life.

It's probably just me being a typical teenager when I moan about clinic. The doctors are nice and they try their very best to be "down with the kids". However there is one significant event which gives me reason not to be thrilled about a clinic visit. I'm not saying it ruined my life or anything but it wasn't exactly a warming experience.

There has been speculation for years over whether I am going to develop celiac disease (wheat intolerance). Loads of my blood tests have been inconclusive so I had an endoscopy a few years ago which also was annoyingly inconclusive. Well anyway in one of my clinic reviews I had a chat with one of the specialists who had the 'tell them the harsh truth approach to things'. Fair enough. So he clearly explained to me he thought that I would be diagnosed as celiac and this meant I will not be able to eat some foods that I like a lot. This, I was fine about, I'm very much a glass half full sort of person. A student doctor then added "But there are lots of things on the market these days that are wheat free." This was true my mum had already researched the alternatives, there were loads. And this had really encouraged me. But immediately after this comment was made the doctor replied "Well yes but they are all horrible." That was when my brain switched off.

I must have subconsciously taken in something mentioned about the side effects of untreated celiac disease because later that night I had a nightmare about cancer. Looking back now I know it was just a flippant comment made by someone who didn't understand how impressionable teenagers are, and really he probably didn't mean any harm by it. But for a short while I was much more negative about it all.

Diabetes is no where near the hardest condition to deal with. After all the needles and recording readings it's quite easy to live with. What's sometimes difficult is the explaining. Everywhere I go I find myself reeling off a set script about diabetes and how it's not my fault I have it. It has its funny moments too once my sister told me she had heard a shop assistant describe me to a guard as a "White female, brown hair, white top wearing a suspicious blue box on belt." 'Blue box' being my pump.

My mum is currently helping with a diabetes research project, which is looking into mental treatment for diabetic teenagers. They have been working for month's now devising highly confusing questionnaires and training videos, group sessions with kids and all manner of things. When I was asked to take part I asked "What's the aim of it all?" To which they replied "We want to find out whether teenagers would like to talk to counsellors as part of clinic". This utterly confused me. Why bother with all the research when you can just ask them. I might just be spouting off a load of rubbish about something I know very little of, but it seems much easier to write a questionnaire with one question. "Would you like there to be a counsellor in clinic to talk to if you want?" I personally can't think of anything worse. I can't bear to whinge and lull over things. I hate being dramatic. Even writing this essay makes me cringe at my 'life changing stories'. However I'm kind of enjoying t! he chance to say what I wouldn't dare to say in clinic. I think a big improvement would be if doctors were banned from wearing suits and all desks should be taken out of the consultation rooms. Surely now you can understand why we feel like we are going to see the headmaster.

And that is just about all I can manage to say without rambling on like an old woman. But after writing all of this down I have realised that I have given it completely the wrong title. This is an essay about diabetes and diabetes is definitely NOT my life. And why should it be.